Self-Care During Divorce

Posted by on Mar 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

There are a lot of winding roads involved in the process of divorce and after the initial sadness and pain there will likely be a lot of anger. It’s not easy when a marriage or a significant relationship ends and not just financially, but emotionally too. Whether you wanted it or not, the breakup of a relationship can turn your entire world upside down and trigger a lot of painful feelings. There are a lot of things you can do to help yourself get through this and grow into a stronger and wiser person and one of them is learning to love yourself again. If you haven’t yet picked up the phone to call around and Find a solicitor in London, it’s time to do so. Breakups hurt a lot even if the relationship has been sour for a long time because divorce represents a loss and there is a full grieving process that goes alongside this. Losing love that you put all your energy into and then having shared commitments and dreams are coming to an end is hard. When these relationships fail we experience profound disappointment, stress and grief and getting through that is tough. Being kind to yourself is key and most people forget this. Essentially it’s a death of sorts and the feelings you will go through will be comparable to just that: losing a loved one. Healing from this kind of pain takes a lot of time and taking care of yourself first and foremost – unless you have children in the mix – is so important. Recognise that it is okay to have different feelings and while confusing, these are perfectly okay to feel. The reactions to things will lessen over time and even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

It’s important to get your group of people around you together and lean on friends and family where you can to help you get through this and if you have the ability, book yourself into counselling. Allow yourself to grieve for the loss of the relationship and try not to repress feelings. If you have to cry, cry. If you want to scream and shout, do it into a pillow. Repression leads to fury and fury leads to smashing of things and that isn’t a productive way to let out stress even if it does feel good! You have to sit yourself down, take a breath and allow your body to embrace the pain as only by doing this can you move forward and take charge in your life. There is still a future even beyond divorce even though in the early days it doesn’t feel that way. There’s every chance you can meet someone new who makes you feel loved again and even if you choose to remain solitary, you can rediscover your love for yourself. You cannot actually move forward unless you love yourself – how else can you expect someone new to love you if you can’t? It’s a daunting prospect but isn’t it exciting to imagine that you can have a new start? The whirlwind of love and dating in those early, heady weeks can be yours again for the taking. Force yourself onto your feet and enjoy life, have new experiences and perhaps travel. Do things you wouldn’t have been able to do before.

Try things you wouldn’t have tried before and hopefully this can help you on your way to healing and bouncing right back to the best you can be. Choosing to move forward instead of looking back is the key here but take your time and go for it slowly; rushing can only skip steps in the healing process and send you crash landing to the beginning all over again.